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Take 2: Gov. Romney

November 6, 2012

Warning: This post does not reflect the views of Fierce, Freethinking Fatties. The subject and nature of this post is apolitical, and deals strictly with obesity-related legislation. Be sure to read the previous post in support of President Obama.

Disclaimer: Joanna is not a true Romney supporter. She just plays one on the internet.

Good morning, America.

I want to thank you all for showing your support today and I would like to take this time to discuss an issue near and dear to all of us: the health of our nation.

I’m sure you’ve all heard that America is a fat nation, that we’re getting fatter and we’re suffering from the diseases associated with it. We are told that obesity is a public health issue in the vein of clean water and vaccinations and that it is my duty as president to put a stop to it. Obama has taken it upon himself to do just that with his Let’s Move! campaign.

I have said it before and I’ll say it again: My job is not to worry about those people, that 47%, who want the government to provide them with the life that they want. Obama and his cronies in Washington have made it their mission to provide you with the life that he feels you should have, down to how you should eat and exercise. Well, I say if you have a weight or a health problem, a vice or a personal problem, it’s up to you to change it. No can can live your life or make your choices for you. We can only create a climate in which opportunities flourish.

In a free market system, you can choose the providers you want and the treatments you want at competitive prices. In a free market society, you can get a job, get a loan, start a business, and food, exercise, and healthcare choices will truly be yours. You don’t have to live in fear that the next election cycle, the next budget cut, the next financial crisis will sink you.

Everyone wants a free lunch, but it always, always comes at a cost. The cost eats away at your dignity and ultimately at your freedoms. What kind of country do we live in where elected officials invade the pantries of grown men and women and tell them that they’re doing it wrong? Who is government to tell you and your neighbors that the design of your community, and the businesses that operate there, aren’t good enough for them?

What next? Will they tell us what we can watch on TV? Can we watch TV at all? Will businesses be forced to close during certain hours so people will cook and eat the way the President approves of? Does that sound like America to you? You work, you cook, you care for your families every day of your lives. Obama doesn’t, and it’s time we reminded him of that.

Too many Americans today, especially poor and working class Americans, do not know the dignity of work. They are deprived of a family structure that can look after the welfare of their children without government stepping in and doing it for them. We can tinker with the peripherals. We can make up for a lack of ownership on the part of individuals, but what it comes down to is that we will be infinitely less free because of it.

As a people, what would you rather be able to say? My life, my family? We built this? Or property of Let’s Move!™? You tell me, America! I’m not just getting tough on Big Bird. I’m getting tough on Supernanny, too!

I support a market that can provide cheap, safe food for everyone, and in which consumer choice is preserved. Through the aid of science and God, we have been able to reduce hunger and malnutrition in this country and save our people from the fate seen by many in the Third World. Where hunger and need exists, Americans, the most generous people in the world, have always stepped up to offer our bounty to those without. Why change what so obviously isn’t broken?

The number one cause of poor health today is stress, something the working American is all too familiar with. Stress is responsible not only for weight gain, but for the co-morbidities commonly seen in obese individuals. Stress is responsible for the collective anxiety and depression of our people, that all too often leads to unhealthy behaviors. Americans, the solution to that is not big government. It’s not snob food. It’s the economic freedom that comes with long-term, full-time employment, with education, with ambition and hard work. I believe in you and in your ability to achieve and make smart choices.

Obama, answer me this: How much is this Let’s Move! campaign costing us? Many, many billions of dollars in the taxes of financially-strapped Americans? What is our deficit now? What causes are being neglected now while Obama expands the powers of government? With me, you can count on lower taxes and more of the take-home pay that you’ve earned. You can count on smart spending and a smaller budget that will focus on the real issues that you care about.

The Affordable Care Act, one of Obama’s great achievements when he was in office, is a threat to the principles of the free market that made America great. It threatens access to health care. We have not crossed that bridge yet, but we are well on the road to socialized medicine here, and I cannot think of a more destructive outcome for ill Americans.

Imagine a government that can decide that you are too fat or too non-compliant for healthcare. Imagine a system that makes you wait for the most basic of procedures. Do not tell me that what Europe does is more efficient than what we have here, where, oddly enough, so many come from Europe to receive care they cannot get in their own countries. I have always been told that you get what you pay for, and in a system where we, the consumers, control the prices, we get the best that there is.

I can promise you that, when I am president, I will bring real change. I will not waste throwing my weight (heh, that was a good one) behind reality TV shows. I will get you back to work. I will get America back on track.

Repeat after me: Obama is a one… term… President!


Don’t forget to vote for President of the Fatties.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. November 6, 2012 11:58 am

    Dear Ms. Faux Romney,
    We’ve seen what your economic policies have done for American families… we’ve seen them in action through Ronald Reagan and both Bushes. And after all these years, and all those tax cuts, we’re still waioting for the wealth to trickle down to us.

    Instead of tax cuts for the wealthy making our nation stronger, it has simply concentrated our nation’s wealth among the top 10%, and even more among the top 1%. In fact, there was even a study published by the non-partisan Congressional Research Service (PDF) that showed in no uncertain terms that Trickle Down is a fairy tale. That’s why Republicans blocked its publication.

    The only way to give Americans the freedom to make sound, personal decisions is to give them the stability and strength they need to live their lives without fearing that the conservative on-your-own philosophy will leave them bankrupt and homeless, as so many have discovered at the end of eight disastrous Bush years.

    Your tax plan, for all its vagueries, is fiscally irresponsible and threatens to balloon the national debt to unsustainable levels, which will result in even more hungry and homeless families. We can build a strong middle class by preserving those programs that have proven vital to our nation’s economic security. Because when we protect the middle class and care for the poor, that gives them the foundation they need to rise through the economic layers that divide the haves from the have-nots.

    Obamacare is not about micromanaging your life, it’s about providing quality healthcare for all Americans, regardless of their health status. If you become President, then that security will be stripped away from the least of our people, and there is no amount of personal responsibility that will save them from the sharks of the free market then.

    The choice is clear. Fatties need a President who will preserve their basic needs, their basic rights, and provide them an evidence-based infrastructure on which to support their healthcare decisions. The free market will pursue the policies that put the most money in their pockets, while the government can be persuaded to redefine its policies based on the evidence. I have more faith that the public sector has the best interests of American fatties at heart than any private sector, profit-driven system. That is why fatties should vote for me.

    Mr. Fauxbama

  2. Duckie Graham permalink
    November 6, 2012 12:11 pm

    I’m sorry, Joanna, but I’m afraid there are parts of your speech here that jump into some higher level reasoning than I’ve seen Willard to be capable of. (Yes, I read the disclaimer, so I don’t hold it against you.) I don’t think he’s going to be quite so lassez faire regarding the “War on Obesity” (remember, it was a republican that started that shit). I think he’s more likely to view it as a businessman would – and do anything he can to support big businesses like Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig, etc., giving them major tax breaks and blathering on about their “success.” His brain is stuck 40 years ago when it comes to these things…he seems to think that women (especially) should be small and submissive and I don’t think he’s going to just accept those of us who aren’t because of some republican ideal of leaving everyone alone (it’s nice of them to say, but they don’t actually do it). No, in his perspective, the rest of the women who are not small and submissive are part of that 47% he doesn’t care about, except that we are in his way. I hate Michelle’s Let’s Move campaign as much as the next HAES supporter, but at least that’s something we can work with. Willard is just a heartless megalomaniac in a suit that has way more money and power than anyone like him should ever be allowed to have.

  3. vesta44 permalink
    November 6, 2012 12:19 pm

    Oh, how I wish we had a like button for comments. I would push it repeatedly for Mr Fauxbama and Duckie Graham’s comments. They said so well what I was thinking when I read this piece, but was unable to articulate myself. Thank you both. 🙂

  4. BBDee permalink
    November 13, 2012 1:51 pm

    I believe it was Cicero, about 2500 years ago, who stated a truth that is just as valid today. How sad that we have NOT evolved since his day: ‘Politicians are not born, they are excreted!”

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