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I Don’t Make New Year’s Resolutions

January 2, 2013

Trigger warning: Body policing douchebaggery.

A couple of days ago, I went into my local grocery store to buy one single item. I was in and out in less than five minutes. The cars that were parked around me were all there when I pulled in, and were still there as I returned to my van. Yes, this is important.

In the five minutes I was in the store, somebody had the time to put an advertising card for a gym on my windshield. When I first saw it, I just thought it was somebody canvassing the parking lot for the 24-hour gym that shares the parking lot with the food store. I crumpled it up and threw it in the garbage, but saw “New Year’s Resolution Special” in bold print before I crumpled it up.  Then I looked at the cars around me. None of the other cars had anything left on their windshield. You know, the cars that were all parked there when I parked my car.

Of course, whomever it was that was telling me I was too fat, and should make a resolution to attend the gym and stop being a Fatty McFatterson, was gone.

This has happened once before to me. I went into that store (it’s my “home store,” the one I almost always go to when grocery shopping), and came out to a flyer for a local gym on the windshield. That time, though, I didn’t look at the other cars.

The more I think about this, the angrier I become. First, the person who’s targeting me for this doesn’t have the courage of his or her convictions.  They must know there is a high likelihood they will be accused of being rude (because they are) if they just come up to me and say, “Hey, fatty!  You should really go to a gym!” If you are going to tell me that I’m too fat to live in your world the way I am, at least do so to my face (and suffer the consequences)!  I mean, if you are really sure you want to do this, then go all the way with it.

But sneaking around, putting something on my car only (out of all the cars there) when I dart into the store for a minute or five? Yeah, I know it was probably a moment of opportunity, but it’s actually pretty creepy to be singled out like that. For normal people, that’s creepy. For a person like me who has paranoid tendencies, it borders on triggering a massive paranoia attack. And those are not fun, let me tell you.

Secondly, what right does anybody have to tell anybody else what they should do with their life? Especially strangers! Especially strangers who don’t have the courage of their convictions to tell it to my face!

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions, but even if I did, any resolution to exercise would NOT come from a card for a gym left on my car at a grocery store.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. vesta44 permalink
    January 2, 2013 9:44 am

    That some random stranger would know that’s your car, out of all the cars that can look exactly like it is worthy of being creeped out about. Unless your car has some distinctive characteristic that other cars of its year/make/model don’t have, this smacks of someone taking the time to watch you, find out which car is yours, and make note of how it’s different from other cars just like it in order to harass you with these flyers (and it is harassment when you’re the only one targeted in a parking lot full of cars).
    This is a cowardly way of telling someone they are thought to be too fat to exist as-is, probably because they know they would be asked “Do the letters F O mean anything to you? Do you really think my body is any of your business? Do you really think I give a flying fuck what you think?” or other various and sundry ways someone can be told to mind their own damned business. Because any/all of those comments are what I tell people who tell me I’m too fat and need to exercise like a hamster on speed so I’ll become “acceptably healthy” (read ‘thin enough to meet with their approval’).

    • bronwenofhindscroft permalink
      January 2, 2013 10:43 am

      There is nothing special about my van. It’s a blue Dodge, the exact shade of blue they painted millions of cars about 5 years ago. We don’t even have any bumper stickers on it that make it unique.

  2. Duckie Graham permalink
    January 2, 2013 10:32 am

    This has happened twice…in the same parking lot for the same gym…and you were singled out….is this harassment?

    • bronwenofhindscroft permalink
      January 2, 2013 10:41 am

      The first time I don’t know if I was singled out. I just assumed everybody in the parking lot had been papered with the flyer, and I’d been in the store long enough that cars had changed that time. It’s just this time I know I was the only one who had the flyer.

      The problem is, I don’t know how to stop it, other than to go to a different store. The person is long gone by the time I come back to the car, so I don’t see him or her doing it to tell them where they can really put that card.

  3. January 2, 2013 10:42 am

    I would say the first time may not have been directed at you, but I would definitely do something if it happens again and you see that no other cars have been hit. Clearly someone at the gym is targeting you. If it happens again, and you don’t want to confront the gym face-to-face, let us know and we’ll figure out a response that we can get the whole blog behind. 🙂


  4. fatology101 permalink
    January 2, 2013 10:53 am

    Try this, go into the store and stand by a window. As the person gets next to your car, go out and tell them to take the flyer off, and ask them to show you their permit for putting flyers on cars. Tell them if they do it again, you will call code inforcement and they will be fined. Dont make it about the gym or fat, make it about them breaking the city law. Good luck.

  5. Lynn permalink
    January 3, 2013 2:22 pm

    That is super fucking creepy. And just wrong on so many levels. I’m sorry you had to go through that and I hope one day the person skulking around in parking lots doing shit like that gets a door opened right in his or her stupid face and confronted.

  6. The Real Cie permalink
    January 9, 2013 7:08 pm

    Creepy and rude. This loser needs to mind their own damn life, not be interfering in someone else’s.

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