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Fun With Photoshop

June 13, 2013

What does it take to terrify millions of Americans with one ad campaign?

A poorly executed Photoshop, apparently.

Bad Photoshop

There! Now she looks like Jiminy Glick’s granddaughter!

Recently, I’ve not had enough spare time or patience to even think about trying to dissect the thousands of things that are incredibly wrong about a Photoshop disaster of this magnitude, but I thought I’d try.

First off, I’m now refusing to believe that anyone is stupid enough to view an obesity warning (cloaked as a sort of public service announcement) with a crazy-ass doctored photo of an adorable kid drinking a vat of sugar as worth their time or effort.

I understand the outrage that people have about this whole thing, but seriously? Who the hell looks at this, runs home, gathers their children in their arms while sobbing “not my baby, don’t you TOUCH my baby obesity!” and then proceeds to gather up all foods not at the proper end of the food pyramid and toss them out the window into a raging bonfire in the front yard?

Secondly, this is probably the worst Photoshop job I’ve ever seen. I mean, as much as I detest the idea of models and celebrities being doctored to appear flawless in magazines and press shots, it actually IS an art form and the altering of a photograph takes time, skill and patience. The person who landed this particular assignment clearly had something better to do later in the afternoon because they managed to make the cutest child on earth appear fairly alien and ill, with bloated cheeks and a misshapen head.

My kids were chubby, and they looked nothing like the end result of this hack job, nor did I ever let them drink pure sugar for fun because that would’ve resulted in an evening of peeling them off the ceiling.

So, am I outraged that this whole thing took place and that kids were involved?

No, not really.

The ad campaign lost any steam it could have picked up by being mercilessly mocked on national television and proving the point that shaming children and their parents into some sort of vaguely defined action doesn’t really works.

The shape and size of people’s bodies will always spark debate. Are you fat? Are you thin? Are you healthy? What is healthy? These parameters are always shifting and changing with the times, and there will always be a contrarian to weigh down the opposite ends of the opinion scale, but for now I’d say to use your brain to toss dreck like this ad campaign into the waste bin in favor of bigger and better fights.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. cordelia permalink
    June 13, 2013 11:22 am

    I totally didn’t notice that the 2nd version was supposed to be a chubby kid. I honestly thought this was an ad saying that if your kid is drinking milk, they’re actually consuming something very unhealthy so they might as well be just eating white sugar. I was impressed. Finally an anti-milk campaign! Finally some honesty about how it is very bad for humans to drink cow’s milk… how’d that get past the dairy lobby? Oh, but, now that you mention it, that is a weird Photoshop job, and I guess just more of the same silliness from the dairy lobby.

  2. June 13, 2013 11:32 am

    It definitely is one of the worst Photoshop jobs I’ve seen. Right up there with the Melissa McCarthy posters for her upcoming film with Sandra Bullock. If they’re going to try to scare/shame/deface fat folks, at least hire someone who knows what the hell they’re doing with Photoshop. *rolls eyes*

  3. nof permalink
    June 13, 2013 11:53 am

    I have no idea what those images are even saying. Is milk full of sugar? Is milk the alternative to sugar? Are we no longer supposed to give our children milk? Or are we supposed to be giving them milk?

    Grade A fail on the communications front alone, let alone everything else wrong with it.

  4. June 13, 2013 1:40 pm

    The drink in the second picture looks like a Capri Sun or something similar. Apparently that’s the death sugar there.

    Have you seen the Beyonce monstrosity in the designer dress? Well, it doesn’t look all that designer since they altered it…

  5. lifeonfats permalink
    June 13, 2013 1:50 pm

    It also looks like they darkened her skin in the photoshopped one. While that probably wasn’t deliberate, it does give off a very uncomfortable vibe.

  6. Rubyfruit permalink
    June 13, 2013 4:55 pm

    I’m too offended by how balls-terrible that Photoshop job is. It’s offensive on a visual level. It’s like they used a fish-eye lens or some kind of bubble-shaped brush to make the cheeks look bigger but all it really looks like is someone copy/pasted like, ping-pong balls and painted them flesh-colored, and then stuck them on some poor child’s picture. And that added-in Sugar label…Times New Roman (maybe)? Really!? The only thing that could make it look more like someone playing around in Photoshop is if it was in Comic Sans, and I’m in the minority that likes Comic Sans!

  7. June 13, 2013 6:03 pm

    Also, how the eff does one drink sugar? Last I checked, it was a solid at room temperature.

    • violetyoshi permalink
      June 14, 2013 7:18 am

      Soda, juices, ect.

      • June 14, 2013 1:19 pm

        Which, no, is not the same as “drinking” a paper packet of sucrose.

  8. Elizabeth permalink
    June 14, 2013 1:45 pm

    I keep looking at this and I must be stupid, I don’t understand it. Is it an anti-milk campaign? (I do drink milk, organically certified raw milk.) Is it an anti-sugar campaign? Anti-soda? When I was a child — when everyone was thin — some people in the neighborhood I grew up in put soda in their babies’ bottles. And, believe me, all those kids were skinny.

  9. Dizzyd permalink
    June 15, 2013 6:52 pm

    I can’t even think of a witty retort as this is so dumb, it doesn’t even warrant a follow-up insult.

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