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Sugar Worms

July 11, 2013

This evening I join you from the hellacious parking lot that highway 95 mutated into!

Seriously though, as I sit in bumper to bumper-to-bumper traffic, I was reminded of a little incident that caused rippling waves of doom to wash over our home and forever change the way we sweeten our coffee.


Duffy’s brand-new friend, Slimy!

You see, over the years, I’ve picked up the habit of nonchalantly scarfing down three to four cups of heavily sweetened and ultra-light cups of caffeinated goodness. I daresay that the lack of proper functioning going on before that first sip is plentiful.

Of course, I’d been reading for years about how refined sugar was the devil’s playground sand and that only a true fool would shovel it into their mouths with the wild abandon that I’d been used to. Until recently, I’d been ignoring these warnings and enjoying my jittery ignorance.


This week I got a message as subtle as a severed horse head underneath my sheets: I opened my stainless steel sugar dispenser to scoop a pile of white gold to dump in my newly-poured, steaming-hot cup of Joe and there they were.

I peered into the lair of the white worm. Or some kind of worm. Whatever.

The point being that I was looking at a large population of squirming, writhing deathworms that had taken up residence in my sugar bowl.

Take a moment to go retch and vomit in privacy.


Good. So imagine my horror and the endless questions I asked myself before slamming the lid down on the bowl and throwing it into a bonfire where I also burned my tongue after I had it removed.

How long had they been there? Had I eaten any worms prior to this discovery and were they having a party my intestines  right now? Would they eventually eat my brain?

Aside from all the gory scenarios I imagined for myself, I now have a fear of white sugar. I have not been able to get near it since.

So I wonder to myself if I should just consider this a win in all categories since refined sugar is supposed to be terrible for you OR should I seek therapy and fight my way back from the vomit-inducing visions of being covered in flesh-eating worms?

God, I hope 95 starts moving soon or I might have to come back and tell you the story of when raccoons fell through the stove pipe in my kitchen and ate all our bread…

8 Comments leave one →
  1. July 11, 2013 6:55 pm

    Officially grossed out. Now I’m scared to have my daily cup of coffee. Gaaahhhh You should put a trigger warning on this stuff. lol When I saw the title and the tags I thought it would be about the “health trolls” that go around and tell people that they are going to DIIIIEEEE if they eat sugar. lol

  2. July 12, 2013 1:46 pm

    I’ve never heard of sugar worms, but this kind of thing is why I keep my flour & sugar in plastic bags in the fridge. Ew.

    I’m sorry your morning cup of coffee was ruined. 😦

  3. Heather permalink
    July 12, 2013 1:48 pm

    I gave up sugar a long time ago….switched to stevia. I use less of it and I have no sugar crash afterwards….and now I have an even better reason to avoid sugar….eeeewww.

  4. July 12, 2013 3:05 pm

    The only references I can find to worms in the kitchen (none at all about worms in sugar) is that they’re immature pantry moths. If you have worms in your sugar, you probably have them in your flour.

  5. Dizzyd permalink
    July 12, 2013 10:00 pm

    Aaaand, that’s why I use flavored creamer in my coffee. But I agree w/ Mara – they probably are moth larva. On a completely unrelated note, ‘sugar worms’ sounds like some crazy new candy!

    • Duckie permalink
      July 12, 2013 10:20 pm

      I was really hoping this entry was going to be a recipe for how to make home-made gummy worms 😦

  6. July 13, 2013 5:54 am

    These might be grain moth larvae. They also get into flour and even old magazines and newspapers. They’re harmless, but yeah, I don’t want to eat them.

  7. Ira Ellis permalink
    July 14, 2013 11:41 am

    Just think of the added protein and fiber these worms would ad to your morning Java. Just ask Bear Grylls. I can’t recall his name, (it’ll come to me eventually), but he was famous for saying “You’d be surprised how many parts are edible.”

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