Happy Holidays Everyone!
Since it’s the Christmas Season, I’d like to tell you a story about an old miser. This is the story of The Grinch Who Stole Reason:
Once upon a time, in a land full of peaches and guns,
lived a flashy old man who liked to play music for fun.
When first you met him, he appeared such a delight,
but soon we’ll find out he could change overnight.
See one Hallow’s eve, in order to please,
he wore a flashlight over his junk, to humor his devotees.
All lit up like Christmas, he stood there semi-nude,
no judgment given, although it was lewd.
After this event, he was in quite a pickle,
“I have to play music, I need to make nickels.”
On childcare duty, the gig he couldn’t accept,
until a friend happened by, with aid she had stepped.
“I can watch your kids, while you pursue music for pay.
Just tell me the week, the hour, the day.”
They set up the schedule, prepared for the date,
but the favor never happened, as in came fate.
See during this week, the generous friend,
was offered the chance to model her rear end.
In a local art class, the teacher did see,
that a fat figure model, was his new enlistee.
Excited by the chance, to celebrate her shape,
the friend told her posse “This will be great!”
When all of a sudden, right out of thin air,
the Grinch told the woman, “I won’t be paying your fare!”
“I don’t want my kids around someone like you,
who showcases their body for public purview!”
She choked back her laughter, unable to breathe,
she thought for a moment, then began to seethe.
“I’m sorry,” she said, “your argument doesn’t stick.
Wasn’t it you running around with a light on your dick?”
Unable to process, the Grinch called her fat,
but the woman made art and with it, fat stacks.
The moral of this story, dear readers of mine,
is revenge is best served lyrically, preferably with a rhyme.