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Reason, Season, Lifetime: Relationship Cleanse

February 2, 2015

Remember that time in the late 90s, early 00s when chain mail was all the rage? I was definitely one of those people who found these little nuggets in my email inbox to be more nuisance than interesting bits of reading. Often I would just hit delete and move on to the next. However, there were a few that were truly pearls and have stuck with me to this day (sorry, none of them were about Jesus or my inferred love of Him) and I’d like to share one of them.

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON … It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON … Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

~Author Unknown

What this message helped me to learn, through years of trial and error, is that I have never wasted my time in a relationship with anyone as long as I am able to learn something from it, move forward, and do better the next time around.Dump Your Friend

I received this email at a time in my life that was riddled with trials. My dog died, I was dumped by someone I thought was “the one,” I was a victim of date rape, and I felt my life spinning out of control. This message was right on time for me.

And maybe it’s right on time for you.

The time for “spring cleaning” is right around the corner. It’s a good time to not only clear out our closets and the underneaths of things, but also a great time to evaluate the people in our world. As fat folk, we tend to cling to any and all friendships that come our way because we’re often afraid to fall into that “lonely fatty” stereotype. We tend to be way too nice and put up with way too much. Many of us keep in mind that it’s better to be with this jerk instead of alone.

And this is just untrue.

An important tenet of self care is one where we protect ourselves from toxic circumstances, be they people, places or things. And in that spirit, take a good, hard look at your current relationships, remembering and applying “reason, season, lifetime.” Feel free to cleanse yourself of relationships that are no longer serving you: the person who only invites you when they need something, the friend who calls only when no one else is available, the shopping buddy who spends the entire time giving you backhanded compliments that are really put-downs, the hangout buddy who is utterly exhausting — but not in a good way.

Take away the good things and leave these negative, energy-sucking relationships behind you. Removing the deadweight will open you up to receive the next thing: better, brighter, more.

Love Your Chub Sig

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